How to Celebrate Father’s Day When Your Father is a Jerk

How do you celebrate Father’s Day if your Father violently abused you and never apologized. What if you are like a previous client whose Father  taught him how to use drugs. Yep, his father taught him to use a syringe and shoot drugs in his veins. He ended up getting HIV and a form of facial cancer, resulting in surgery that causes others to stare at him continuously.  Yea, thanks a lot dad!

The truth is, holidays that honor parents can be hard for people who’ve had bad parents. A lady I met recently told me about her disturbing childhood. Although she was cheerful and healthy as we spoke, it wasn’t always so. I should have seen her a few months ago, she said. During that time she had severe back pain, locked bowels and could barely walk.  However, one night a few months ago someone invited her to church. The pastor talked about the need to forgive others. She cried through most of the sermon. At the end of the sermon, she said to herself, I forgive all those who’ve hurt me. I forgive my father for molesting me, after she said those words she noticed a strange sensation in her back. When she stood up she could walk without her walker and the pain was gone. She said I had been in pain, on medication and in therapy for ten years because I harbored anger and hatred in my heart. She said, when people see her they ask what happened and she says’ “I forgave my father.” She encourages them to forgive others quickly. “I hated my father, I’ve hated men and I suffered physically.”  Now she’s happy and looking for love!

Proverbs 18:16 says, a man’s gift will make room for him.  John Gills says, this verse means “a man’s gift “enlarges him” brings him out of prison, or, out of straits and difficulties with which he, has, been pressed.”  The lady I met forgave her father and was set free from the prison of pain and other health related difficulties (she was forty years old using a walker).

Present a bouquet of forgiveness to your father on Father’s Day. Buy a bouquet and send it with a note, saying I forgive you. If’ he’s dead take it to the graveyard (some of us are angry with dead people) and say I forgive you.

Yes, the best way to celebrate Father’s Day if your father was/is a jerk is to forgive him. If you are the father whose a jerk forgive yourself and seek forgiveness from your child or children, making restitution if possible.

 

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Categories: General

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